糸至文

2012-01-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

沒所謂，真的沒所謂？

沒有所謂的人說著就是沒所謂？

那不是什麼都沒所謂罷。

就是給了第一次沒所謂也得該尊重一下，

不要讓人再給第二第三次。。。的沒所謂

那已不是沒所謂，是沒有得沒所謂的人選擇了

所以就是討厭行不了諾言的，

說好了就不要一次又一次的說不好了。。。

又或是麻煩“好了”再最後通知那沒所謂的。

2011-09-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

:) A stranger likes talk with me...and make me feel good!

Not really know each other...but could share with a nice and kind person...

the feeling is amazing...

Guess fds... may not know each other very well, but it is a way to claim yourself down...

find a person who is easy to talk with is very difficult... hope i could let people feeling relax and calm in their busy life...

2011-09-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

何時才能醒過來？

好驚呀，我分不出那裡是現實，成個人都好浮。

2011-09-06T05:41:00.000-07:00

我走了，走了一星期

我到達了，到了快到7天了。

有些事會漸漸忘記，有些也要快快的記下。

我要完全投入那新的了，不要躲懶

向著自己說要勇敢點，我希望有天我也會完全信任自己是可以令人相信的人

要學習關心照顧別人，那是我一直不懂的

很想很想可以完全地獨立，就是未拿著那勇氣

還是，未敢接受我是要長大的呢？

怎樣說。。。我也該要一個人面對

這7天我也由得一個人，開始主動地衝破了！

就是提著自己開懷一點也要不太介意的心情地重視別人。。。

多複雜

發現了我開始明白朋友的重要，不只是一方的朋友，對每一個都好不捨得，要維持果然好花時間，但也開心的！不過不要忘了重要事要做！～

突然想起有朋友說過我是好簡單的人，

但我也會想很多的！～

也許就是想太多的簡單人對著複雜的就是不停地想去簡化所有問題，才會想太多！

2011-08-27T06:19:00.000-07:00

如何說好呢。。。

一種迷糊的感覺，在掙扎中，

我真是個會想很多，超級胡思亂想的人，

那些想像力可以蓋過現實，

我幻想似乎希望是真實，

但這人令我摸不著頭腦，我猜不透，我求問神我每次下定泱心不要再想，是真的！但差點放下時又令我懷疑。

好了，又再給那機會自己再入這幻覺裡再想，現實又一再證明他不是屬於我的，就連沒有自信的我都想去接受成全那看來他快樂美好的畫面。

我不想當自私的，我要愛別人，為別人想，我不想自己活在自己世界，我要放開，我想一場的痛哭後就忘記這討厭的感覺，

我可以離開嗎？就算人最終是離開，也可以嗎？

我不介意我是痛苦的，我不想別人不開心，我想找回自我想決絕一點時，但那穿入心靈，令人發抖的迴響在體內滾動著。

你最好不要在我附近，不要看似對我信任，不要說一些令人心軟的，不要就在我旁接近地。

但心中另一處的矛盾又出現，你可不可以不要在我前靠近別的，接觸別的，令我有強著口笑又迴避的眼神看著。

我沒有膽子去主動和承認，就是逼自己在不願意看的畫面，也要成全。。。

因為我沒有討厭過那人，我想過去討厭的，我知我是錯的在這想法而言。

但求不要一次又一次在大家“吹水”中，我是一個壞的角色，我從沒有要任何人是離開的，我就只是我自己想離開，我想氣氛融洽一點時，又換來一眾人奇異的目光，有時我想是那些隱藏著的人，但有時我又想給人發現，還要是偏偏給他發現，請不要又再攻擊我心靈罷。。。我受不了折磨。

我完全不清楚你想法是不是我心中想的，我也不願給自己投下票，我想放他到原位，我沒有試過了解他，我沒有想過有興趣過。我希望這次我的催眠是成功的。

再見，那痛苦的！我還是要笑著面對，要好開心的勇敢地染飾著自己對抗試探。

2011-08-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

1/8

a day starts to the end just left not more than 31 days...

i must be joy with you guys.

dun want to miss any moments.

dun want to leave any regrets here...

a new change later on...

i would try to be ready within these 31 days...

2011-07-14T04:34:00.000-07:00

亦舒說: 人們日常所犯最大的錯誤，是對陌生人太客氣，而對親密的人太苛刻，把這個壞習慣改過來，天下太平。這句完完全全的說中了。。。就是從那血脈出來的也是這樣子的嗎？被苛刻對待還是恭恭敬敬的好？怎對人才是真正的自己呢？可能永遠都是會比較苛刻那邊才是自己？。。。對我來說。。。係卦。。。？！ <br />有時別人的苛刻也令我懷疑我是被討厭了或是被戲弄了或是...總會令人想多的苛刻我感到好煩厭還是已習慣了？多無奈。

2011-07-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

學習接受，不去介意，這樣對嗎？

2011-06-28T03:56:00.000-07:00

smiling unhappily between ppl...

it's so feak... it's difficult to response ppl...

2011-06-27T07:01:00.001-07:00

有時我裝著不知道，有時我真的不知道。

可是沒人明白，我漸變得不可信了，就連自己也是。

2011-06-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

wt's provisional??? wt's that mean... i forced myself to ignore it...

however i spent few hours on searching about "provisional"....

no, please...please dun let me wait again...

i m totally being insane now....

my thought is very simple... dun let me staying in the complicate...

no indirect, no long-term consideration, no PROVISIONAL....

i hate this word!!!!!!!!

2011-05-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

"If I stay in one place I lose my mind
I'm a pretty impossible (old) lady to be with..." - Tire Swing from JUNO...

It's totally wt who i m...

i m really an old lady who is in trouble now...

i juz wanna be free, but... wt is the truly free???

like a bird flying in the sky...??? Oh man, dun be silly, it's really dangerous if you fly without any planning...

wt is truly free???

could i juz shout to him "i love u" loudly? it's stupid too... you are not so sure wt he loves...you even dun really understand him...

However, how sad that i love the feeling of unclear n mysterious...

2011-05-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

我愛哭偷偷的哭你清楚卻傷我那麼離譜

幾句話語我的淚卻止不住

我不哭我不敢哭哭只會讓視線變的模糊
視線模糊記憶卻會更清楚

我是愛哭鬼我要哭掉對你的思念
看著鏡子裡面沒志氣的臉然後越哭越後悔

我是愛哭鬼我要哭掉對你的依戀
我也知道自己這樣子不對
卻還越哭越認真的可悲

2011-05-14T04:13:00.000-07:00

好驚

好驚對自己諾言不能銳現

好怕

好怕對住未知結果GE野

好想

好想真實的感受祢GE存在。

2011-05-08T06:49:00.000-07:00

煩腦可以吃的嗎？

若是可以吃，我不怕自己變成一個肥婆。

讓我肥死去罷！

煩腦可以掉的嗎？

若是可以掉去的，我不怕當一個大力士。

讓我狠狠的掉去十萬八千里遠！

2011-05-06T16:05:00.000-07:00

始終一天　我會早點起身...早了

始終一天　我會不再懶惰...努力過 不再遲到　...間中有

始終一天　我會收拾被窩...仍需努力

始終一天　我會收拾壞蛋...我沒有蒸服人的力量

始終一天　我會一次棄掉所有垃圾...人家視作垃圾的是我寶貝唷

愛　始終一天我會比較愛自己...我未懂

(愛　始終一天你會發覺我還愛得起)

你會羞愧自責不珍惜我 想東想西想你定會想清楚...唉～

我也不再在意我應該得到幾多

忘掉你　揭了瘡疤　心魔放開 隨便作樂

隨便相愛 決心不會一改再改

始終一天　我會變更細心...我好大意

始終一天　我會更有自信...始終一天-.-"

始終一天　我會乾脆吃掉所有甜品...做了 oh yeah

始終一天　我會勸你戒煙...爸也戒了 始終一天

我會放過自己...未能做到 始終一天

我會甘心接受不會被愛...接受現實罷

 Woo...始終一天我有勇氣不欺騙自己...未能

 (愛　始終一天你會發覺我還愛得起)

你會羞愧自責不珍惜我 想東想西想你定會想清楚

我也不再在意我應該得到幾多

忘掉你　揭了瘡疤　心魔放開 隨便作樂

隨便相愛 決心不會一改再改

始終一天　我會放棄再講...:-(

2011-05-05T01:33:00.000-07:00

i still cannot be released now...

just want these few months could be passed ASAP.

I want to got the result quicker...

please let me know...

I don't have time to organize my stuffs...

why everything happening together...

sosad....

Now, I hope I will get the good result and everyone is still healthy in my life...

Something seems happening which I unexpected...

2011-04-29T22:48:00.001-07:00

突然好失落。。。因為假期

2011-04-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

突然好開朗。。。因為假期

2011-04-19T02:08:00.001-07:00

Don't ask, don't say. Everything lies in silence.

2011-04-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

我被夾攻了。。。好可怕的狀況，一句疊一句，我完全應接不下，

就是打算閉咀逃離現場，又被一句疊一句的，我是否要站著看著你們聽著你們在令我不知如何應對。

是的，當笑話到了一個令人厭煩的地步，那就不再是笑話了。

為何一懂站在人的立場看嗎，攻擊人的笑話，我已經不想再聽

似乎我又避不到，我就是不懂去反抗，這是我覺得最糟的缺點。

2011-04-11T05:34:00.001-07:00

小時候母親大人同父親大人改左個花名比我～～“喊包”，不知何時開始，“喊” 已離開我的生活，我相信自己可以永遠樂天下去就算面對什麼都好，因為最傷心的我相信在那一年中已過了，我可以用其他東西，物質罷或是我脱離現實的腦袋離開傷心。

但不知為何，“喊”的感覺最近又回來了，我似乎連在火車上睡一會，眼淚都不尤我控制地想掉下來，我知是我一早就想錯了罷，不過每天令我想窒息的空氣，我似乎就要受不住了，我不想這樣，相信我能捱過這數個月的，我又一次想衝破自己極限，看看我有否如此能耐。

不過想不到，我發洩的方發真的很簡單，我喜歡一個人，有時。。。

但不喜歡一個人，有時。。。

我好難服侍，我都覺。。。

不過衪會幫我的，就像那時怕黑一樣。

2011-04-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

我逃什麼？

每天都在同樣的默默的，話題又是繞著那個不是這個不是。。。

又是那慘叫聲令我的魂都不知走到那裡，

每天重重複複，這些日子好可怕，

我不想習慣下去，

我在這，不是浪費時間，然而時間一天一天浪費下去，

我控制著自己心理質素，

說話總是令我覺得是否我的錯，

我在捍衛自己一點自我嗎？

我只要接受就可以離遠一點嗎？

2011-04-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

give me give me give me confidence...

2011-03-21T05:48:00.000-07:00

啞了，只好係咁食野。

“又寂寞又美好” ，我如何能看到這個情境，為何不能像從前我行我素。

要如何做才可以忍受不好聽的說話，我由何時開始在意這些，

是不是真的因為我，為何每次撞正不適合的時間，最後都是我一個人在難受。

我好想返到以前GE自己，不會想得太多。

2011-03-18T07:59:00.000-07:00

（永遠好愛看到這個樣子，永遠可以一副樂天相，什麼都不介意地問。）
好冇用，透唔過氣就走入廁所哭，今日差D被發現，不認，好難受。。。

我好似一舊海棉，一滿左水，只要一句說話輕輕一按，我就堅持不下。

我不想別人難受，也冇必要要人接受我GE難受。

但我依然難受，是我的錯，我明白，但我的思想就時有時不尤我控制，但又是我該要控制的。

我發脾氣，有時令我自己也感到可笑。

但有一條線也要為自己留下，。。。。

算了罷，還是好DOWN，

2011-03-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

i cried... March of 2011 is an unfortunate month, isn't it?

i become understand how disgusting the people are...

i feel there is cold.

now, i am sick of being here... that room, that seat, it's uneasy that being happy face between ppl.

I am trying to be nice, it seems i'm the one ignored. I know it is joking... but behind the joke, i feel blue, sad and dark...

everyday i listen a song... sometimes, I could loop it for a whole day, whole week... My mind is lost on working... go to toilet, have a long walk, I really wanna cry... but where is my tear... I know the main reason is I really dun want to stay here...

In fact, I am very very sad.... and try to release my tear... it seems better now. Luckily, no one at home... I cannot describe my thoughts clearly, as well as talking with ppl... I lose my confident, no, it seems doesn't appear in my life...

2011-03-03T08:45:00.001-08:00

i am not happy...i am not happy...i am unhappy...

i dare...i escape your daring...

i leave quietly, however, every time you would call back my name once again...

when focusing on work..., u come around me...it's too close for me...

sometimes getting lost...

and once the other joint between there, i try to escape...

and everyone just left finally... include you...

and suddenly i'm the only one staying there...

here...i wanna cry and don't wanna t...y...p...e...

life made me feel i'm the only one under the pressure, i know everyone have their pressures too...

but who knows...

who can have the right to define what the pressure is, where it comes from...

claim down...

i don't want to move, i'm thinking about you and the pressure...

and you become the pressure...

future is the pressure...

i really want to know about the future of me but...

i don't want to face to the reality of life...

who? who can call me back from surrealistic dreaming...

it's a nightmare, it's a distance between you and me...

2011-01-24T03:08:00.000-08:00

i'm really sad but my face always looks happy...i become hate ppl in that room...but i dun wanna being that... i try to recover, but you just make me dun wanna talk with anybody...

where is my mind? where... where is...?

留守太平間

2011-01-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

“隨心所欲是夢想，荊棘滿途才是理想。

當明白生命的重，才能反思自已放棄得太輕易。”

2011-01-21T01:49:00.000-08:00

I hate myself, am I look so stupid between ppl?

I dun care if I am stupid, but why I am so angry at that moment...why can't I just shout to them...?

I hate that I still could look having fun with them...actually I am very angry...

I become the one ppl dun care, dun know, dun wanna talk with...rite?

Time to think about leaving as I always think about...

2011-01-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

我又發夢了，不同的片段但完全相同的感受，基本上係咪發緊同一個夢只是不同情節，每次醒來都以為是真的，十秒？五秒？我醒來還懷疑自己有那麼幸運。

不要再給事情困擾，我的幻想世界快要蓋過真實的了。。。

2011-01-17T07:07:00.001-08:00

不需要拍下照片，不需要留下記號，不要緊大家的衝口而出，

坐在一起，說的是生活煩事逸事，怪談趣談，天北地南也好，

那刻短短的相聚就是最自在最自由的，可做回自己，不用掛心，

再壞的也都忘了，雖然明知有醒來的時候，至少在過程中是享受，

拍拍腎臂，輕輕擁抱一下，心中悶氣全消，陰天的烏雲都轉晴了，

大家不因離別而失落，只等待的是下一次再聚。

這就是好朋友，好知己，這天沒有一刻比這更美好。

2011-01-17T02:40:00.000-08:00

我在浪費時間在什麼地方，我完全不明白

我該樂觀點罷。

2011-01-14T08:32:00.001-08:00

差點敗露。。。眼神立即迴避

2011-01-10T01:06:00.000-08:00

holiday, i luv u...

sometimes hope to be sick, but when u sick, you dun wanna being the one who is sick...

finally i am sick of the contradiction of my mind.

2011-01-09T09:59:00.000-08:00

痛苦，不能預計地他打亂了我的生活，我要為自己洗腦，但沒有一分鐘不是想著，我瘋了罷，都是我自己的事，沒人能關心得到，記掛就是記掛著，我好想離開一下，不要胡思亂想了，我好令我討厭。

奇怪，為何情節同書中看到的有少許重疊，等待是乾涸的，但不知如何面對真實的他，在虛疑的似乎可以不拘束的對答，就等著回覆，可憐的中毒者。

生活還是要干物下去？我好想到外走走。

2011-01-07T06:14:00.001-08:00

不是自己的就不要勉強唷。

2011-01-06T10:25:00.000-08:00

好了，我放棄了，聽著看著，那根本不是我，我好不肯定，我只懂呆坐呆等發呆。

看到“得不到的是最難忘記”，好無奈。

2011-01-02T12:51:00.000-08:00

再見了2010，

2010的12月31日，我在公司完成了我年尾要完成的工作，還在該天凌晨才開始真正趕緊做參賽的PROPOSAL，之前一天我只睡了不夠兩小時，那天放工前終於交了那份困擾了多久，想放棄了多次的工作。

放工，和好友去尖咀倒數，等了好一個漫長的晚上，談了的也很多。

2011年1月1日00:00，我們就是站在同一個街磚聽著後面兩個電車的日文對話玩著ipod/iphone望著走不出去的人海人島...過了。

2011 你好，

2011 1月1日, 我第一樣做的就是在尖沙咀街上狂奔，趕去睇子夜場。

我還睡了一個好漫長的覺11小時的覺。

晚上同我的好豚友DINNER和LUCKY DRAW。

假期，好好的享受。就要回到工作了，我又打亂了我的作息時間，總是不想去睡，看著書，我就要離開這世界，到安靜的地方去。

就算全世界與我為敵

2010-12-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

看你的眼神　有一點懷疑　再這樣下去　我如何討你歡心
閉上了眼睛　什麼都不想聽　誰都別說　我就要失去耐性

看你的表情　有一點不確定　眼看被愛情圍困你叫我如何看清
離開了人群　什麼都不想聽　誰都別問　我早已下定決心

就算全世界與我為敵　我還是要愛你
感覺愛情的潮汐　在你我之間來來去去
就算全世界與我為敵　我也不會逃避
我要的不只是愛你而已　我要讓所有虛偽的人都看清自己

看你的表情　有一點不確定　再這樣胡思亂想　叫我如何相信
離開了人群　什麼都不想聽　誰都別問　我早已下定決心

＊就算全世界與我為敵　我還是要愛你
　付出所有的勇氣　讓愛如潮汐自由來去
　就算全世界與我為敵　我也不會逃避
　我要的不只是愛你而已　我要讓所有虛偽的人都看清自己

＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋＋

哪有跟我心情一模一樣的歌詞。。。

最後我還是封印左果一頁，雖然不捨得撕下來。

2010-12-16T03:33:00.000-08:00

jealous...? sure, i'm not jealous...

calm...? yes, i look calm...

the perfect way to leave the world for a while is putting your headphone on...

not listen, not look at the others...

it's easy, just face to your monitor in front of you.

i dun know you, you dun know me too, rite?

gd, gd, gd...

who can heal my mind

2010-12-13T07:29:00.000-08:00

why can't i hide my happy face...

even i'm not that happy, how sad....

my action lied to my face, my face lied to ppl...

i dun know how to tell....lazy to think about the terms of feeling...

Lord i need to find someone who can heal my mind...

2010-12-11T08:18:00.000-08:00

in my own world i cannot hear the others...i'm sorry...

2010-12-10T07:09:00.001-08:00

closer, it looks closer, but it feels too far from me...

what's the thoughts meaning about?

i dun understand,

i just intoxicated in it...my wrong feeling?

i just hope it would be closer to me...

2010-12-01T07:52:00.000-08:00

i am easy to recover, ain't i?

2010-11-30T05:05:00.000-08:00

it's sour...it's tear...it's unfair...

i cried...

原來哭的時候吃芥茉是沒有感覺的，那種鼻子抽住的感覺不是由味蕾傳來，而是從腦電波發出，透過身體其他的神經線傳來，一旦觸及，淚線就禁不住的發動它的功用，製造淚水。

在人前忍著一點也不好受，但我該要視作習以為常的功課嗎？

luv being alone...but not being lonely...

2010-11-22T08:59:00.000-08:00

wt was i just thinkin' about...?

the someone???

who???

meet frm Mon to Fri...

miss frm Fri to Sun...

I just could put my whole feelings on my paints...

Draw, to make me closer to "it"...to make me to be more understanding "it"...

and i'm being such a crazy guy...thoughts being like "it"...

and in my head, full of "it"....every time, every moment...

Dun let me know the truth is...you dun luv me...

and i know i just a someone else who passing in your life right now...

and nearly affirm it will be the past tense someday...

is it I'm falling in luv with someone?...

I'm being like you, being the one cannot leave you, being with you...

Give me NOVACAINE

2010-11-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

drain da pressure from da swelling

dis sensation's overwhelming

give me a long kiss gdnite n everything will be alrite

tell me dat i won't feel a thing

so give me novacaine

2010-11-05T22:13:00.000-07:00

one word...life...

how can i think about that, how can i describe it in my dictionary...

who, where, when, what are the closest things to me?

who, where, when, what are my most loves...?

Dizzy...

and i 'm trying hard to think about it...so dun let me fell asleep while thinking...

but first...give me time to have a nap.

2010-09-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

oh...becoming addicted to think about something else...why? i'm not luving it, i must not luv it, i cannot luv it, ... i m falling in luv wif it...

please please leave me , the evil sprit...

why i always think serious on those made me curious?

baby, i need to be strong enough to fight ...

Don't let me luv it...again...

2010-09-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

m i becoming easy to cry without voice...?

everyday before lunch /nite sleep...i just have a feeling that i really want to cry...i want to leave this cage...the air is not comforted for me...i need to find a way to release myself...

missing someone/something/somewhere, an uneasy feeling...always lie to myself... where is my holiday mood? where is my optimistic thinking? where is me?... losing in the time between time...

talking wif fd you trusted is great... she maybe not the one really understand you... but strangely you can feel free to talk wif her... also, the same, you must also pay attention to listen to her as well... i luv that feeling...RELEASED...

Jealous? I dun want to be like that...great future on the other ppl... i must need to congrat wif them... where is my future? i wanna hv freedom to do what i want, to learn what i want to know, to go where i want to stay, to meet who i want to recognize...exciting and curious future...where? when? how?...

i dun want to be a robot staying in the grey city...-.-"

2010-09-07T11:01:00.000-07:00

Noisy, Sounds from ppl, jealous, pressure, affords, workloads, additional burdens, addicted to love, unreasonable dreaming, sudden changes... please get away from my life, please let me just think simply, otherwise i know i cannot focus on the importance.

I just wanna be myself, be more confident, be the one could be closer to freedom...

i dun mind i might need to give up something unless that would hurt the others.

deeply in my heart, i just a person wanna to fulfill the dreams as being a teen although i have elderly's thoughts.

2010-08-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

i love romance when i staying alone... m i selfish to share the romance wif others?
i dun really know how to share it... still cannot control the thoughts being without spirit sometimes.

2010-08-17T11:02:00.000-07:00

Lord, Please let me breath fresh air, let me leave the prison and run to the freedom of the world.

2010-08-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

it's complicated ...the world...ppl...
i just dun wanna know...dun let me know...i dun care...
life is yours, dun blame the others...

starts

2010-07-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

today i 've done wt i could do under my working area which contains quite a lot limitation that sometimes would make me feel upset... it is uneasy to let me passing thro this process... but in this work, i learnt doin' a job, firstly, need to listen very well from ppl you need to know and understand wt ideas they might agree wif u. Make sure you could sense wt the next step is...try to feel free to do your work normally, i mean just do it with your own style is okay... Finally, your own creative thinking is also very important indeed. dun ask too much opinion from others in the earlier periods, it just make u to be more confused and may lose your original ideas.

this is the way that i could try my best to do my work and is the limitation line i set to myself.

if you are lucky guys that day, the boss would satisfy your first idea... this is my little succeed on my work.

yes, dun design the things you dun like and create the things you would hate...it is really a charllenge for me as well...

2010-07-26T06:05:00.000-07:00

i cried in front of my piano teacher at the last lesson...however i dunno wt the reason is...
i've tried to tell myself dun think too much, dun be the weak one, dun let ppl know wt's my thought...
it must the worst lesson in my life...i'm the worst in the world....just dun want to let anybody know...

and the only reason i knew is i must very unhappy today... why the worst things come together towards me... and well ~ after that...still keeping busy...

2010-07-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

今日天氣很好呀!~-.-, 黑雨, 完全同我本來好平靜GE 心情應該是相反, 但黑雨一來, 同一時間我又得到一個令我打擊GE 消息, 我本不該為我意料之內的這事發怒, 而我當然不會在人前發怒...也不多自己一個無聊發怒, 但這事件, 延續我昨天衝口而出的突發奇想---我想離開...我要永遠永遠離開, 我好想立即離開...
想起一句BLUR 的"bring me away from this big black world and..."("and "之後果句唔係好關事其實...-.-), 甚至我不想做被動了, 我要主動離開...是呢, 我要好好計劃一下.

一群沒有心靈的人類, 一頭横衝直撞的蠻牛, 沒有分別...是操縱人的怪物, 是搶掠人的精神的大惡...
我被動的心理狀況完完全全把我推向崖邊...

我只能在夢中勇敢衝過去嗎?

8000 ppl worship

2010-07-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

Love More, "He" always gives powers of Love to let us to love more...

Lights at Nite

2010-07-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

Quiet Lights in the noisy city

2010-07-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

totally disagree that "give up" means "game over"...indeed that's not meaning totally give up
i would define it just like taking a break...
maybe like a pair of couples, sometimes need to give spaces to each other...and u would discover his/her adventages that still attracting u...(information from the Love Comedy Movies...-.-)

surely, ...ng...maybe it's time for me and PIANO to take a break now...not leave it alone, i would still keep practising everyday(if it's possible, i would try my best...), i reli want to explore it more, not blindly practicing to study it techiquely...time for me to revise wt i've learnt before...

and also save money for traveling is very important too in this moment...

Blue Dressed Girl in the Dark Room

2010-06-22T07:33:00.000-07:00

Do you remember? We have the same memories at that moment.
The innocent, joyful, released feeling grows,
the dark, loneliness, sad mode fades away...
A little girl played around in the flowered dark room, broungt sprits and dreams.
Laughing, Smiling, Jumping, Drancing..., The sounds is flowing in ppl's mind...

2010-06-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

Pressure...it makes things worser...but you cannot control it.
No matter you said it's okay/better now, Pressure still staying deeply in your heart.

To escape pressure, just forget it, dun believe it could control your life.
you are not the part of pressure and indeed it isn't one of your parts.

everything not ready yet

2010-05-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

i would say it's healthy that my thought is still staying at be4 18...everything seems not ready yet. i am trying to tell myself now i just can focus on my dream...i don't want the other things to distrube me...it's the way that i walk alone and keep it mysterous. that "key"... i need to lock in my heart.

it seems getting worser...

2010-04-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

my brain's nearer out of control... it dreams a lot...
just sit for a while, it starts to dream...
just ignorred from someonelse, it dreams...
just watching TV for few minutes, it dreams...
just practising piano, it dreams but my fingers still continouing follow the music notes...

and when i wake up from the dreams, it already missed a lot...

BAKING

2010-04-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

baking is reli interesting...
no matter it finally tastes bitter or sweet...

it's the process to let you being patient and forget anything...

midnite

2010-04-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

love midnite...love the private space...love lonely time...love quiet place...love the little sounds of the air flowing around my ears...love the darken street light... love the cold wind touch my skin softly... love the sleeping city... love the birds' faint peep...

i'll miss these few hours...and i'll try to meet these few hours everyday...

ys...i need to say gd morning to my planet now...

2010-03-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

dun give me any hopes before u say "NO"!
sometimes plx let me be the selfish one, could I?
my reflection...i know i always wanna be the selfish one...however, could I?
the cold-blooded results just like eating my heart...i practiced to know that the truth is always cruel...
plx forgive my thoughts sometimes being so mean

let me keep silence

2010-03-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

i guess...maybe i am not able to exist on that way in that moment at that place wif those people.
i know it's really wrong to say that...but my feeling...hummm...it's just like i was staying there without my soul. i dun want to waste my time...again...it's really sorry to say that. i really want to leave there and back to my protected area. i didn't feel any respect from people. am i the one isolated? wt i could do? just let me keep silence...

my quiet moments

2010-03-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

回家路最是令人可以安靜的時間...可以慢慢地, 無意識地走著...這...熟悉的路...
生活就是沒完沒了, 工作後還有又一浪接一浪的事要等著完成, 時間...就是奢侈地花在不由自己控制的事上...永遠也留不到一刻只給自己最想做的...好累, 好累...
在十幾分鐘回家路上, 風給了安慰...很想停留在那陣風中...今天"它"是神給我的安樂處嗎?
眼皮好想接下, 手也乏力, 心臟呱啦呱啦地跳, 血液也渾行得不太正常...遇見熟悉的人, 想開口打招呼, 也不由我控制...不想說話了...
工作令我忘記時間...不錯! 就是用這個藉口推卻所有責任...另一個我不停抱怨擔憂中..., 我不可以不理, 又為自己加重工作量, 提醒自己不要停下來...最後, 連花時間去睡覺也不想...
生活刑刑役役真是完整充實嗎?休閒一下真的會浪費時間嗎?
我不想成為典型香港人...苦著地奉獻時間, 無奈地犠牲自我...再累也好, 無論如何也要做到自己想做的事!!!!!!
感嘆一句...真的要無悔青春嗎?(苦笑)

YAWN~~

2010-01-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

"Yawning is incredibly contagious. I made some of you reading this yawn simply by writing the word "yawn". The people who yawned when they saw you yawn, meanwhile, were infected by the sight of you yawning - which is a second kind of contagion. They might even have yawned if they only heard you yawn, because yawning is also aurally contagious: if you play an audiotape of a yawn to blind people, they'll yawn too. And finally, if you yawned as you read this, did the thought cross your mind - however unconsciously and fleetingly - that you might be tired? I suspect that for some of you it did, which means that yawns can also be emotionally contagious. Simply by writing the word, I can plant a feeling in your mind. Can the flu virus do that: Contagiousness, in other words, is an unexpected property of all kinds of things and we have to remember that, if we are to recognize and diagnose epidemic change. " (quoted from "the tipping point")

I yawned... it's not becuase I felt tired.

怒

2010-01-13T07:14:00.000-08:00

為何每次定下的計劃都被一些突如其來,非做不可的無謂事情阻礙...我好想發脾氣...想鬧人

20100102...

2010-01-02T02:20:00.000-08:00

new year...work n think at day time, think n dream at nite...sky-people...ideas would not go away, just keep running the brain in the right time...

which one is your right light blub? switch it on!

2009-12-30T03:07:00.000-08:00

很想不問世事的彈下去, 為何要像交功課一樣...我一點也享受不到...我不想討厭它...自由自在的彈感覺真好, 就是讓我一開始就討厭那...

拍子機...

x'mas finally came...

2009-12-27T07:38:00.000-08:00

2009-12-26T21:02:00.000-08:00

i was really angry nearly to cry at that moment...and already claim myself down now...

after thinking again and again, i still guess we did right finally!

i just hate people always does selfish and didn't ask the others' opinion.

and use that soft voice with stress tone to complain and to let people think they are used to be protected.

i wanna say we are not the aggressive part of people...we just fight for what we loved to do together throught the right way...and people just blame us...it's really unfair to us...

and we still thank god for that day and the blame...

2009-12-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

這個世代真是給那虛幻的操控著,就是有種捉不住就想去捉的感覺,
我已被"那"熏陶得...似乎變了每天的例行公事,
真想離開...真的想離開?似乎又有一把聲問...

懶完後總是令為失去的光陰後悔...
幾時幾時想過要做什麼什麼...
幾時幾時又會忘了那樣什麼什麼...

失去的東西想救回,好像總有方法,
就是計算值不值得,又未必對未來值得,
我還是接受著"它"已"死"的事實...
或許就是鼓勵我加緊做準備的烙印...
有點白費之前所做的一切,
但都只是"那"虛幻的,我就是相信我能做點實實在在的克服"它"...

就是這種創造感令我很想持續這小小宇宙的發揮,
想學習下去,
但誰叫我那壞性格不停地和我的夢對抗,
我做不到呀,但又著急得很...
很怕,得不到,完成不到這個夢,像那一次一次的打擊一樣(想哭但哭不出的痛)

真不肯定我行的每一步是對或錯,開始不信任自己的選擇(呆了)
我想所有時都順著我心想的簡單一點,不要給我太多複雜...

so sad, still so happi

2009-12-04T07:39:00.001-08:00

我的人生呀!
就是受盡打擊...
但感謝母親把我生出來就有著那種什麼事都看似不要太在意的性格,
是種壞習慣罷,
也就是那種什麼事都看似不要太在意的性格...似乎也不太在意從前所得所失...
但今次...這一刻, 很痛心....不過可能下一分鐘我又會冇事...
或是因為這種分心, 令我可以很容易放開痛苦, 又令我隋入陷阱...
不過似乎眼淚在邊緣已是我的盡頭, 流不出來, 小時已哭光罷了...(苦笑)

這天又一次被MISS 說中我心事...好打擊, 雖然口不對心的我依然說冇事, 不過又令我反思自己...
暫時我也衝破不到自己, 對神, 對人, 對自己...
封閉起來, 似乎依然好安全...
不過對著我心愛的朋友, 這少少的幸福, 也令易分心的我帶回一點點笑容...
只有活在忘我中, 我才會不記得自己的"困"...

我...真是好不實際...但這個"我"還是活在現實中...

神, 感謝祢給我這個"困" 的人生和那種什麼事都看似不要太在意的性格, 我想經歷祢多點...

2009-10-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

bringmeawayfromthisbigbadworld

2009-08-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

who ruined? who's ruined?

2009-07-19T05:57:00.000-07:00

seems waiting somebody/something...

一起撩過的鼻屎-tasty

2009-07-19T05:42:00.000-07:00

其實這碟餸, 有兩樣不太喜歡的配料...
互相配合, 也可以很美味...

由食譜的一堆文字, 幻想出來的台式肉鬆皮蛋豆腐...

2009-07-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Moments

my last holiday?!...

2009-07-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

i felt lost ... i was angry myself, nearly died

i 'm released, think i could be free now...

just waiting wt's the next step in my future ...

2009-04-08T01:09:00.000-07:00

sorry for that...
i hate sleep now,
hate myself, hate me soooo late...
really sorry...

2009-02-05T06:20:00.000-08:00

cried...wifout voice...
heart cannot breathe

2009-01-30T06:52:00.000-08:00

the moment now ... is stopped
wt m i looking for?

feel sick, feel guilt, feel harm...but i can't feel u